Medical Update

My sister Janet is working on finding out whether I can get my cancer treatment paid for through Medicaid and SSI. If so, it would require moving back to the U.S., specifically to Houston if M.D. Anderson, the best cancer hospital in that part of the country, will accept Medicaid.

Of course that would be a severe blow to the vision to which we believe God has called us, to use our circumstances to plant in people’s hearts a confidence in the love of God, an eagerness to be open and vulnerable before him and a few close friends, an ability to more and more find their worth and identity in Christ instead of in things that fail, and ultimately to discover the level of joy and intimacy with God and loved ones that reflects the supreme law of God to love him and our neighbors without reservation. We came here to build a church that would be what church people have always believed church could be. We came here to build a church that would be what unchurched people never imagined it could be. We came here to build a church that everyone will know they were born for, once they’ve begun to experience real, intimate community there. God uses Roland and me together in a way that he does not use us separately, and we’ve seen a wonderful taste in Frisco of what we know God can do here, if we have 20 years here instead of the 5 years that we had in Frisco. Even if I only have a year or two, if I can spend it here we can see the glory of God more fully than if I spend that time on another continent.

At any rate, we’ll come back home if it’s the only way to get medical treatment, and Janet is working on that. Meanwhile, I have an appointment with the oncologist, Rick Abraham, at Holy Spirit Northside Hospital at 10am Tuesday morning, the third of April. That’s 7pm Monday, US Central Time. I understood him to say the actual chemo will start then. He’s persuaded the maker of the most expensive drug to give it to me for free the first month which, along with some other concessions he’s extracted from various parties, brings our cost for the first month’s IV chemo treatment down from $5,000 a month (Australian dollars, which are worth about 80 cents US) to $1,000. We’ve had enough donations come in so far to cover that. While we’re praying for a miraculous complete healing, we’re also praying “give us this day our daily bread”, which he has now done.

On another medical front, when Mark Dutney, the General Practitioner, first diagnosed me and figured out that my insurance company might deny treatment, he contacted Royal Brisbane Hospital which is a very good public hospital, unlike Holy Spirit Northside which is a private hospital. Dutney was hoping Royal Brisbane would somehow be able to treat me for free, even though I’m not under the government healthcare system here that would make it free for citizens. Royal Brisbane has finally gotten back to us. I have an appointment with them on Monday afternoon, the second of April. Karen talked to them, so I’m not sure of the time. At any rate, we’ll talk to a specialist there. The worst that can happen is it’s a wasted afternoon. The best that can happen is that God intervenes and they find a way to give us ongoing free medical treatment.

Meanwhile, I still have no symptoms whatsoever, beyond occasional stomach discomfort, which I understand is not terribly unusual for 50-year-old men. It’s a weird thing to look in the mirror and think: there’s a man who’s dying of cancer, and then go for a long walk through the woods with Roland or Karen, come home and laugh with Emmy and the kids, and get up and go to work the next day.

My mind runs the gamut constantly from grief and fear to hope and gratitude, continually saying “our God is able to deliver us and he will deliver us, but if not, be it known unto you, O King, that we will not bow down.” I live with the daily dichotomy of needing and expecting a miracle, thanking God for another wonderful day, while simultaneously helping Karen think through the things she’ll need to think through “if not”, and trying to think through how to help my children and other loved ones keep their hearts tender and trusting the power and character of God, even “if not.”

In all this, God is still God and love is still enough. This I testify.