We moved to Australia one year ago this weekend. It hasn't been the year we expected. I now spend a shocking amount of time, energy and thought on bowel movements. I wonder if each minor physical issue is a sign of my time line being shortened still further.
On the other hand, tomorrow night we'll watch the fireworks at "Riverfire" in downtown Brisbane, or "the City", as they call it. It's by far the largest, most impressive fireworks display I've ever seen in my life anywhere. Almost as nice, a few members of our group have to get there early in the day to save a good spot for the evening fireworks display, because both sides of the river will be packed beyond capacity by the time the show starts. The nice part is that by being one of the volunteers to get there early I can spend the whole day lying around on a blanket on the grass, sleeping in the name of noble self-sacrifice. You gotta love that.
Then on Sunday morning Roland and Emmy and Karen and I will attend part of a district pastor's retreat. That'll be a good time.
The best thing I have to show for my year, as far as advancing the purpose for which we came though is that people's hearts are growing softer. People who were suspicious and guarded toward each other are getting sweeter and tenderer and experiencing new joy in rediscovering God's love. And, of course, although it's not nearly as much as I want to accomplish, there's some small value in my mere being here, as it reconfirms in the hearts of others the value and power of the dream we share. It helps keep hope alive, and hope is one of those three powerful things the Bible mentions in the same ranks as faith and love.
Anyway, I've had this day and I have a reasonable expectation of an enjoyable, fruitful weekend. An old hymn from my childhood asserts that Jesus "never has failed me yet." In that same vein I can say that, so far at least, God is still God and love is still enough, and that gives me confidence that, no matter the circumstances, the same will be true tomorrow.
31 August 2007
13 August 2007
We're Staying
I sent the following e-mail to my parents and siblings on the 10th of August, 2007 in response to a plea from my brother to come back to Texas for medical treatment. It seems appropriate to post it here for the rest of you who care about me, as well:
We've decided to stay here in Australia. Karen talked to Charlotte by phone and we had a "family meeting" with Wesley and Jake. We are all agreed.
The doctors here know about M..D. Anderson, what they're doing and what they can do. They've been quite clear that I have a better chance of a literal, supernatural miracle than of a cure, even from some medical breakthrough. I'm either going to get a miracle or I'm going to die. The only difference between treatment and none is a few months. The main advantage to dying there a few months later is that I get to die with you. The main advantage of dying here is that I get to spend the time I have left, doing what God has called me to do, helping as much as I can to get a church established that will make a bigger difference in a couple of years than everything I did with my life previously to planting the church in Frisco.
And if God chooses, as we're praying, to heal me, his miracles are not geographically dependent and it will be easier to stay here than to get back here, because of the financial situation we'd leave behind if we left now, including breaking our lease and phone contracts.
I'm sorry. I love you with my whole heart, but we're staying. We're still working on getting tickets for a 3-week visit during Jake's Christmas break from school. It's not certain we can achieve even that, but I think we can pull it off. Someone has offered enough frequent flyer miles to buy the tickets. We just have to figure out the details of how that's done and when.
In the meantime, I will try a new "alternative" therapy of diet and supplements that claims to cure cancer or dramatically reduce it after two months on the regimen. And Kenneth's magic cancer-curing water should be here sometime during that period, as well.
Love,
Brad
03 August 2007
I've been rich and I've been poor.
Rich is better. I saw a poster in a shop once that said that. I thought it was cute.
The miracles we need seem to keep piling up. Karen just got a call from the hospital pharmacy saying I can't continue with chemo unless we pay the full $7,000 for chemo drugs we've already been provided and for which we've been billed. We have $3,000 in our medical donations account, but they told Karen they won't take a partial payment. We did just have $2,000 until today, when we received another significant donation, but those are few and far between. We were holding that $2,000 in reserve to pay for things like the upcoming cat scans that should be scheduled for sometime in the next week or two, that require up front payments rather than being billed. So we could only pay $2,000 now toward the drug bill, holding back the remainder for the cat scan. That means unless another $5,000 appears in the account between now and Tuesday, I'm done with chemo. Otherwise, I'd be receiving several more -- probably between 4 and 8 more weekly treatments. I have no idea how much difference that makes to life expectancy, but presumably some.
My oncologist may have some thoughts on how to get around the financial problem to continue treatments. I'll be able to talk to him about that on Tuesday when I go in to schedule the cat scans. We're also working on scheduling a trip home to Texas around Christmas. I'll work at that time on getting approved for medicaid there, for the possibility of treatment at home if I could benefit from further treatment and can't get it here in Australia.
Beyond that, in God we trust. We remain, as ever, in his hands and he is wise, powerful and loving and that's enough. And we have this day which he has given us, and it's good.
We've just moved into a townhouse of our own, out of the Hearns' house, and we don't have internet connected there yet, so my ability to post updates here and at www.choosing2live.com has been limited. I hope to update www.choosing2live.com after my oncologist's visit on Tuesday, the 7th of August.
Love,
Brad
The miracles we need seem to keep piling up. Karen just got a call from the hospital pharmacy saying I can't continue with chemo unless we pay the full $7,000 for chemo drugs we've already been provided and for which we've been billed. We have $3,000 in our medical donations account, but they told Karen they won't take a partial payment. We did just have $2,000 until today, when we received another significant donation, but those are few and far between. We were holding that $2,000 in reserve to pay for things like the upcoming cat scans that should be scheduled for sometime in the next week or two, that require up front payments rather than being billed. So we could only pay $2,000 now toward the drug bill, holding back the remainder for the cat scan. That means unless another $5,000 appears in the account between now and Tuesday, I'm done with chemo. Otherwise, I'd be receiving several more -- probably between 4 and 8 more weekly treatments. I have no idea how much difference that makes to life expectancy, but presumably some.
My oncologist may have some thoughts on how to get around the financial problem to continue treatments. I'll be able to talk to him about that on Tuesday when I go in to schedule the cat scans. We're also working on scheduling a trip home to Texas around Christmas. I'll work at that time on getting approved for medicaid there, for the possibility of treatment at home if I could benefit from further treatment and can't get it here in Australia.
Beyond that, in God we trust. We remain, as ever, in his hands and he is wise, powerful and loving and that's enough. And we have this day which he has given us, and it's good.
We've just moved into a townhouse of our own, out of the Hearns' house, and we don't have internet connected there yet, so my ability to post updates here and at www.choosing2live.com has been limited. I hope to update www.choosing2live.com after my oncologist's visit on Tuesday, the 7th of August.
Love,
Brad
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