More Medical Stuff

When the oncologist released me, he wanted me to see the colorectal doctor to decide whether the ongoing bowel problems were from the cancer in my colon growing instead of just chemo side effects. That appointment was yesterday, Friday, 22-6-07. The colorectal doctor thought it most likely was from the colon cancer growing, and that they'd most likely have to do surgery to remove the colon cancer, and do a colostomy. They've been reluctant to do surgery on the colon as long as the cancer there wasn't growing, because surgery would make the cancer more likely to spread to other places.

To determine whether he was right, he had x-ray's of my colon done on Friday and arranged to get the results immediately so he could make a decision right away. The x-rays convinced him that the colon cancer wasn't the problem, so they don't need to do a colon re-section and colostomy. Wierdly enough, he decided that I need to deal with the ongoing loose bowel movements by taking over the counter anti-constipation medication and stop taking all the anti-diarrheal medications. Apparently there's constipation back behind the diarrhea. Also, my belly and ankles are bloatetd and he decided that is from not getting enough protein, so I'll eat more protein-rich foods and see what that does.

One of the things I've discovered is that serious cancer provides a wealth of first-time-ever experiences. Swollen ankles is one of those. Also, perspectives change. When I told Karen about the possibility of a colostomy, she asked if it would be permanent. I replied: "well, the doctors think I'm dying, so as far as they're concerned, pretty much everything is permanent for me at this point." So we continue to not worry about tomorrow, but live this day for all it's worth.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggedy Jig

I'm writing this from the hospital, where I don't have internet access. (AAARRGGHH!!!!) I'll post it after I get out. After losing 13 pounds and being dehydrated and very low in potassium from a week of chemo-related diarrhea, the doctor skipped this past chemo session and had me come in for 3 consecutive days of just re-hydrating me intravenously with potassium and salt-laced water. He assured me that a week or two off chemo now wouldn't be a big deal, but 3-4 sessions off later would be, and that would be what will happen if we don't stop now and get the diarrhea under control. On the 3^rd day of trying to rehydrate me on an outpatient basis, with the potassium levels still low, he convinced me to stay in the hospital as an inpatient so they could pump fluids into me 24 hours a day and get a handle on the diarrhea. I checked in on Thursday, 14 June 2007. The diarrhea has gotten better and the oncologist liked what he heard and felt when he poked around on my belly on Friday, and evidently what he's seeing from the daily tests they're doing daily. The diarrhea is apparently just an unusually severe response to the chemo. At any rate, it looks like, having checked in on Thursday afternoon, I'll be heading home with everything under control again Sunday afternoon or Monday morning, skipping chemo on Tuesday, 19 June 2007 and then coming back in for chemo as usual on Tuesday, 26 June 2007. I was 40 pounds lighter when I checked into the hospital than I was on 5 March, 2007 when the cancer was diagnosed, and I wasn't overweight then. Half the weight loss was from the initial naturapathic diet I went on after the original diagnosis. The naturapathic diet changed after 52 days, but while the new, permanent anti-cancer naturapathic diet didn't make me keep losing weight, it didn't help me gain back what I'd already lost, either. Then, the other half of my weight loss was from the various effects of the chemo. The good news is I've gained back a significant amount of weight while in the hospital, so I should be able to safely resume chemo and the naturapathic diet as soon as I get home, without fear of further weight loss and without fear of being at such a low weight as to rob me of normal strength, energy and immune system responses.

Meanwhile, I've actually had a surprisingly good time in the oncology ward. It's always nice being waited on hand and foot, of course. The food is good, and I've got hot sauce from the house for those meals when my taste buds just don't taste anything at all. Dulled taste buds is another of the unfortunate effects of chemo. And they've got a little kitchenette on the ward, just for patients, so I can stroll down there in the middle of the night, as I did once last night and help myself to a chunk of cheddar cheese, a dab of peanut butter and Vegemite and a cup of tea with milk in it. It was great.

And visiting with the nursing staff is fun. One was interested in my Churchill book on my nightstand. One uses terms of endearment like honey and sweetheart the way Texans do but that I was warned that Australians generally don't. And a couple of the nurses are from India. I got to chat with them about India, about our common experiences as immigrants, and about our shared taste for hot, spicy foods that Australians generally don't like.

Even without internet access here in the hospital, I've got my laptop, so I've got this blog update as well as updates for www.choosing2live.com ready to upload as soon as I get home tomorrow, and with the Bible program on the laptop, I've been catching up on “daily” devotions that I'd gotten behind on.. So whether I have 3 months to live or 30 years, I feel like I've spent this day doing the things that make this day matter.

And moving quickly from the sublime to the ridiculous, what kind of computer spell check function doesn't recognize the word “blog”!?! This goofy spell check doesn't know that word and thinks maybe I meant flog or biog instead. Good grief! It's a limited enough dictionary anyway, you'd think it would at least know basic computer and internet-related words! It does insist I show a little respect for the internet by advising me to always capitalize it, though. I guess it's heart is in the right place.

Maybe near the end of a bad spell

One of many possible side effects of my chemo is diarrhea. I had been keeping it under control by a combination of Imodium and a prescription codein pill which has a normal side effect of constipation. Monday, 4 June 2007 I began a period of frequent, uncontrollable diarrhea that the medication just wasn't phasing. It has continued through today, 13 June 2007.

This week the oncologist cancelled chemo for the week, assuring me that one week off wouldn't hurt, but letting it get worse til I need 3-4 weeks off would be a setback. In the meantime he's got me off the Imodium but has given me a pain patch that has a side effect of constipation and combined that with another specific prescription drug that directly and primarily fights diarreha, plus the codein. Last night I slept 6 straight glorious hours without having to run to the restroom, for the first time in over a week, so I think we're starting to get it under control. I still have diarrhea, but less frequently, and hope to be "solid" again by this time tomorrow or the day after.

In the meantime, they've had me in for the last two days, plus tomorrow just pumping potassium/salt water directly into my veins at 3 liters per day, just to rehydrate me. On the other hand the dryness in my mouth and throat, plus "thrush" on my tongue and throat, apparently dulling my tastebuds to an extreme degree, has limited my dietary intake to liquids (Ensure, Cup of Soup, etc.). Between the diet and the diarrhea, I've lost weight very seriously. We expect I'll be able to resume chemo next Tuesday and hopefully begin to be able to eat normally again to start gaining weight again. I hope in 3 or 4 weeks to be back up to a minimumly healthy weight again. By then we'll just be 2 months from the end of this 6-month round of chemo and I'll be off it until or unless it mutates and begins to grow again. As soon as the chemo ends I'll start on an alternative diet and supplements that make gigantic and implausible claims to cure cancer in 2 months. But it's cheap and harmless at worst and it's the only thing left to do but sit around waiting for death or a miracle, so I'll give it a shot and see what God will do.

Thanks for your continued concern and prayer. At this point, even the oncologist and the naturapath agree that it's my best hope of a cure so keep praying and believing for a literal miracle.

Every Birthday is a Gift

I think I was born at 5 or 6am Central time, so I guess it would have been June 4 in both the US and Australia, so my birthday is now well and truly past.

It was a good one. My mother and brother just left today after a good two-week visit. I took them to Surfers Paradise on the Gold Coast just south of Brisbane yesterday, along with my oldest son Wesley who's here for his summer break, and his girlfriend Eva who's visiting for 3 weeks. Everybody played in the water at least a little, walked along the beach, and then had lunch in one of the beachfront restaurants and did a little people watching.

Then we spent four hours testing the limits of our love for each other while being lost on the ever-winding, unnamed streets of north Brisbane before finally finding our way home.

Today my chemo visit was made immensely quicker by my brother's gift of his own iPod to me. I've had to figure out by trial and error what dosages of meds adequately control nausea and diarrhea. I told the doctor what those doses are today and my prescription now reflects that, so I shouldn't run out again like I did yesterday. So hopefully today will be the last day for at least a while that I have to worry about diarrhea dehydrating me and keeping my weight dangerously low. My focus for the next couple of weeks is purely on gaining back to a minimum healthy weight.

A year ago I was firmly of the opinion that, there being no significant difference in anyone's mind between 48 and 49, or between 51 and 52, that birthdays were now meaningless unless they ended in zero. This year I've obviously had occasion to change my mind. Each birthday is a milestone of victory and a precious gift of God in which to further enjoy and love the amazing array of people who love me.

We are enjoying this day each day, praying thank you for healing me today; please heal me tommorrow. We're taking "no thought for tomorrow" and praying "not my will but your will be done" but meanwhile praying and trusting God for a genuine, literal miracle of complete physical healing for many more long years of just loving people more deeply into the kingdom of heaven.

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Thanks for your love, prayers and good wishes.